Compassion as a healing force towards anger

What is Mindfulness?

Beautiful clip describing this practice. It is truly a gift to connect with and practice Mindfulness. Life becomes more than just a moving from one activity to the next and the next. We pause to actually be with what we're experiencing moment to moment. Instead of living in the world of thoughts, we live in a vibrant, alive, aware world; the world of living, loving and dying. We stop avoiding certain experiences and feelings and instead learn to open to life; connecting with wisdom (clear seeing) and compassion.

Life is a Gift

Life is precious. From the first breath we take to the last is truly a gift.  

And so how can maintain this awareness of the preciousness of every moment, every breath, every contact we have with life? Can we do it with reverence, with forgiveness for the times we're caught up in reactivity, fighting and resisting the way life is? 

 

It's possible to meet the pain with acceptance, understanding and compassion

It sometimes feels impossible to open to pain. It can be a deep wrenching grief that tosses us like a little dingy in a vast ocean. Sometimes the grief, sorrow and sadness can send us rushing to the bottom of the ocean and it feels as if we will stay there forever. At some point, I believe the heart begins to mend and we once again rise to the surface. We rejoin life and it little by little color seeps into our view of the world. 

Wisdom comes when we see things beyond the way they should or shouldn't be and respond with compassion

I guess the most important thing to remember is that wisdom can come from suffering. I don't say this lightly and I'm not minimizing how devastating loss can feel. I believe that how we get through the challenges in life really matters. We can either look at what happens through the lens of victim-hood or through the lens of clarity and wisdom. This is the way life is. And even that feeling of victim-hood is a part of the healing process. It's the resisting and clinging that comes right before we let go. We relax our grip on trying to control things that are beyond our control. Therein, paradoxically is the power to choose how we meet these challenges.

I love this poem by Rumi that speaks to this.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

A teaching story translated by Coleman Barks 

The Gift of Meditation: Connecting with this Vibrant Life

Meditation is like medicine for the heart. It can be profoundly healing during times of stress, difficulty or when we're feeling overwhelmed. Instead of living in a world of virtual thoughts and reactions, we come back home to the vibrant life that is right here in our body, mind and heart. How do we do this? By consciously connecting with the breath and sensations in the body.

Awareness of breath is the first step towards reconnecting with life and wellbeing...

"Breathing is the bridge between mind and body, the connection between consciousness and unconsciousness, the movement of spirit in matter. Breath is the key to health and wellness, a function we can learn to regulate and develop in order to improve our physical, mental and spiritual well-being." Dr. Andrew Weil

Connecting to the breath, can be a first step towards developing awareness, about how we're relating to what to life. This conscious awareness is what helps us to notice when we're caught up in thoughts or beliefs. It helps us see, that what's happening in our lives isn't what causes suffering; it's the way we're relating to it. We can pause and shift out of reaction/thoughts/beliefs and notice how:

• the body is reacting to pain (tightening, heart racing, defenses arising)
• whats happening in the mind (reactive/defensive thoughts closes and contracts our ability to be open minded and our minds can feel closed and contracted i.e. narrow minded)
• what happens in the heart (we armor our hearts to try to protect ourselves from getting hurt only to experience deeper hurt).

This pausing, to step outside the world of thoughts and into our felt experience is actually freeing. We begin to see how our reaction to life is fueled by the way we think life should/shouldn't be. We notice how our whole being is caught up in resistance and how this intensifies the pain we encounter. With this insight we can begin to shift from reaction to response. We can begin to attune and respond with compassion to what is actually happening in the present moment. Breathing in, I meet tension with a compassionate breath, breathing out I soften the tension... Just tuning into the breath can begin to soften the contraction we experience when pain arises in body, mind and heart.

Meditation as a path to waking up....

Meditation helps us reconnect with the vibrant life that is right here. Instead of being caught up in stories, worries or concerns about past or future we come into contact with what is actually happening moment to moment. There is a stream of life that flows through us and when we pause to notice we reconnect with spacious, open awareness.

Gift yourself today by pausing to practice. It may seem like you don't have time...the question is do you have time to live? Do you have time to breathe? The answer is of course yes! Your body breathes and you need the breath to live...so take time to pause and connect with the life that's right here.

There is much more I can say about this practice. For today it's enough to know that this practice has  transformed the way I relate to others, myself and life and that is a gift!

Listen to this beautiful meditation by Jack Kornfield, a wise and wonderful teacher of mindfulness.




May you be peaceful and well

Meeting fear with acceptance and wisdom

"If we do not turn inwards and train our mind, but instead expend all our energy on arranging and rearranging the external aspects of our existence, then our suffering will continue." 

We often worry about things beyond our control. So, if there's something I'm ruminating over, I often find it helpful to ask the question "How can I help myself right now?"  

The practice of mindfulness helps us to stay present, for our lived experience. As we practice mindfulness we are learning to respond to life in ways that are helpful, instead of reacting in ways that create suffering. 

In order to help ourselves, we must first be aware of how we are relating, to what is happening our lives. The first place we need to turn towards, is our inner experience. Taking a moment to connect with our lived experience in body, mind and heart is essential. 
Pausing, we connect with the breath, notice the quality of attention. With a real committment to be mindful to what is happening we ask:

• Is the mind scattered?
• What are the quality of thoughts? Worried, agitated, restless
• How is the body? Are there areas of tension perhaps in the shoulders, hands, or face?
• What about the breathing? Is the breath shallow or tight?
• Is there constriction or heaviness in the heart area?
• As you notice what you are holding in the mind, begin to allow thoughts to fade into the background and gently focus on the breath.
• Breathing in, feel the breath come into the nostrils, chest and belly.
• See if you can soften tension in the body and heart by breathing in and then softening on the exhale.
• Relax tension wherever you can.
• Feel sensations in the body and watch how they shift and change. 
• If you're overwhelmed, use the breath as an anchor to keep you in the present moment. Breathing in, stay present, breathing out, let go and soften where possible.
• Use the following mantra by the Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh " Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.”

As we connect with our lived experience, we let go of living in stories or thoughts about how lfe should be and come to accept it the way it is. This is a very important shift, as we are able to connect, with the aliveness, energy and vibrant body, heart and mind. It is only when we open in this intimate way, that we can help ourselves. Otherwise, we're caught in the trap of trying to fix, rescue, dismiss or avoid what is happening in our lives. We're reacting instead of responding. Ultimately, we are trying to control that which we don't like, or we're clinging and trying to keep that which we like.

Underneath the need for control is fear

Underneath the need for control, is the wanting to know how things are going to be in the future. Questions arise about how long this good feeling, relationship or situation will last.  We want to feel safe and so it follows, that if we know what is going to happen, we can some how prevent it. While there is some truth to this, it's also true that we can't predict every outcome. Nor should we! Life is constantly changing and nothing is permanent. Every day we age a little bit more. People get sick, we lose loved ones, a job or material wealth. Many things can happen, that are beyond our control and this is the nature of life.  We can't predict what is going to happen as we move through our day. We can plan as best we can and then let go. The more we try to control the more we suffer.

In learning to plan and then take our hands off the controls, we learn to be connected to the life that's right here!  In shifting, from future or past, to present moment awareness we can begin to respond from a place of wisdom instead of a place of worry and catastrophizing. So the real question is can you live with the I don't know.

As Philip Moffitt, a Meditation Teacher at Spirit Rock states, "The proper response is when fear is present is threefold: 

• Continual mindfulness of the fear, 
• Deep compassion for the suffering it is causing, 
• Cultivation of equanimity that allows you to stay with it. 

You will find that the dharma will do the rest. 

May you be well 

The proper response is threefold: continual mindfulness of the fear, deep compassion for the suffering it is causing, and cultivation of equanimity that allows you to stay with it. You will find that the dharma will do the rest. - See more at: http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/articles/freedom-fear#sthash.M3wYxldF.dpuf

The proper response is threefold: continual mindfulness of the fear, deep compassion for the suffering it is causing, and cultivation of equanimity that allows you to stay with it. You will find that the dharma will do the rest. - See more at: http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/articles/freedom-fear#sthash.M3wYxldF.dpuf

The proper response is threefold: continual mindfulness of the fear, deep compassion for the suffering it is causing, and cultivation of equanimity that allows you to stay with it. You will find that the dharma will do the rest. - See more at: http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/articles/freedom-fear#sthash.M3wYxldF.dpuf

See Life as it Truly is...let go of black and white thinking...

Beyond views of right/wrong there is life....

Sometimes we get caught up in seeing life as right/wrong, good/bad or through the filter of should/shouldn't. We judge ourselves or others and use labels such as he is good/kind or mean/bad person. These labels create separation and pain and we miss out on seeing the whole person. We see the behavior not the person. We are all human and made up of light and shadow. Sometimes our actions come from a place of love, kindness and understanding. Sometimes our actions come from hurt, resentment, and pain. Meeting pain with more pain (judgment and shame) leads to  disconnection and suffering. Looking at each other as humans who are vulnerable, who have a need for love and connection can help us soften our reactivity and defensiveness.

Today take the opportunity to really look...see the person beyond the behavior...look with compassion, love and understanding. It is often when we open our hearts, when we're vulnerable that we can see beyond the surface. Sometimes we label because we ourselves are afraid of getting hurt. Take time to really connect with what is happening within you as you connect with the world
. 
I love this poem by Rumi which speaks to this:

Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field.  I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other

doesn't make any sense.

May you be peaceful...

Meditation is...

Post by Wisdom Pills.

When Meditating...

Be patient
Be kind
Listen to the inner world of sensation

Offer good will towards yourself
Send it out to others
Open your heart to...
Compassion

Connect with the mind
That is spacious like the sky
Watch thoughts flow in and out
Feel the breath flow in and out
The ebb and flow of emotions and energy

Notice what it's like right here
Right now
Open, stable, attentive
In the moment

C. Ricardo 10-13-14

In Search of Happiness?

"True happiness is something that, by its nature, gets spread around.” Buddha

It seems a no brainer that if I were to ask, if you want to be happy, your response would be a resounding Yes! I believe that all of us want to be happy and what often gets in the way is when we seek it in things, people or status.

• So when was the last time you felt happy? 
• What does happiness mean to you?
• Is it money, relationship or peace of mind?

I'll be happy when...and if...

Have you ever found yourself saying or thinking these words?  Prior to learning and practicing mindfulness, I found myself yearning for things to be different. I really believed, if only things were different (more money, more time, less worry) I'd be happy. So I'd dwell in the world of "what if and if only and was miserable. My attention and energy were hooked in pursuing happiness in things and trying to control the world around me. This just kept me racing through life and getting no where. It was exhausting and I was piling on more stress to what was already a stressful. 

The awakened heart opens us to life

We come into balance when we learn to let go of reacting to stress or trying to control the world around us or within. When we learn to respond instead of react to challenges in life with acceptance and compassion we're able to reconnect with the vibrancy around us.  We're able to feel more connected to the things that nourish the mind and cultivate loving connection. This allows us to open to life. We see both the beauty and the suffering and don't judge one as better than the other. So instead of turning our eyes away and closing our hearts to suffering, we're able to stay present and respond with compassion and loving kindness.  It can be challenging to do this as letting our guard down and opening our hearts is counter intuitive. It goes against striving and survival. The benefits out weigh the challenges.  When we approach life with an awakened heart it opens us to life, love and our energy that is tied up in worry is free to appreciate life in the moment. Even when things are difficult, when we practice mindfulness we have more clarity of mind, our hearts are more open to life, compassion and happiness.

Mindfulness is a conscious choice...

All of this is great in theory but mindfulness is not about theories. It is about the lived experience. Right now pause and notice the following:

• What's the body like in this moment as you read this? 
• What emotion is felt? 
• Has this article triggered memories from the past? Hope for the future? 

As you finish reading this take at least a five minute break and:

• Close  your eyes and tune into the body
• Breathing in feel the sensation of breath coming into the body
• Breathing out soften and relax the body and heart.

Take time to consciously connect with this moment. It truly is a gift and can lead to meeting life with acceptance, compassion and happiness.

May you be well

Beyond Coping there is life...

Today I was thinking about how precious life is. That each moment is a gift no matter what we're facing in life. It's sometimes a challenge to remember this as we get caught up in stories, opinions and drama. When we arrive right here, feeling our feet on the ground, the sensation of breathing, looking out and taking in our surroundings, this is a moment of pure awareness and it's a gift. I say it's a gift because when we step out our busyness and into life it's like seeing clearly for the first time. Our senses come alive and colors, sounds, sensations are more vibrant. Live each day with moments of mindfulness and your view of the world slowly shifts from one where things are happening to you, to one where you're interacting with life.

This is a wonderful passage from the book "Beyond Coping" by Thanissaro Bhikkhu. It's a reminder about what a gift it is to live in the present moment:

Beyond Coping

"You shouldn't chase after the past,

or place expectations on the future.

What is past

is left behind.

The future

is as yet unreached.

Whatever quality is present

you clearly see right there,

right there.

Not taken in,

unshaken,

that's how you develop the heart.

How can you practice this today? Pause and take a break to connect with this body, mind and heart. Notice what surrounds you and the aliveness within you. For this moment, meet whatever arises with awareness, loving kindness and curiosity.


May you be peaceful
May you be joyful
May you be safe

Is there a Right Way of practicing MIndfulness Meditation?

Am I doing it right? What is right?     

By J. Hood                                                        

I thought there was a script, and I was struggling with it. I wondered if I was doing it wrong and of course, I judged and questioned myself. The perfectionist in me wanted perfection to yield the highest level of success. If I was going to embrace this Mindfulness stuff, I had to do it right. Every day, I would sit and meditate and do my best, but let’s face it my mind was all over the place.

It took me some time to realize that my experience is just that. Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.

When my mind wanders I simply notice it and focus back on the breath. Some days are better than others and that’s OK, that’s just my experience and noticing it, is mindfulness. 

Meditation isn't about getting somewhere. It's about being present and open to the life that is right here. C. Ricardo 

“Looking at beauty in the world, is the first step of purifying the mind.”

Amrit Ray

For me the content of my meditation is not as important as consistency. I make it a point to sit every day. In the beginning, I was waiting on some AH-HA moment and these BIG changes would envelope me. It didn’t happen that way. The changes were gradual and subtle. About six months into my practice I started noticing things. I’m more aware of life and the little things. I’m more patient, compassionate and balanced, both toward myself and others. I can better regulate stress and my reaction to it. The list goes on and on. I find now, after 18 months of meditation, that the list grows daily and the benefits aren’t as subtle, these changes are pretty clear.

It’s clear my success lies in the repetition and consistency of a daily practice. For me this is a routine much like any other daily activity. It’s something I look forward to; it’s my time to be with myself.

In the beginning, it may seem hard to find the time. If you’re like me, there’s probably some unnecessary activity weighing you down. I eliminated just a little bit of that and replaced it with a daily routine of meditation and self-exploration and it’s changed my life.

I’m hopeful this will inspire you to pick your time, a quiet place and begin a routine of loving kindness toward yourself.  Stick with it even if it seems like nothing is coming from it. That’s just you being more mindful. Soon the joy of the practice will come shining through.

J.H. 
*This post is written and shared by guest blogger Joe Hood. He practices mindfulness meditation on a daily basis and shares his experience with this grounding and peaceful practice. Sharing his insight and experience is a wonderful way to learn about this practice.